When I added the event to our calendar, I told my husband that we were going to the event and by going I meant that I would pick up ingredients and we would watch the presentation and cook at home. He was on board as soon as he reached the second part of the sentence. Neither of us is a big fan of gala dinners, and you would have to pay us a LOT of money to convince us to attend one during a pandemic. (They showed a few clips of groups and that made me nervous. For all I know the groups may be quaranteams/pods, but that wasn't clear and I don't trust anyone.)
Anyway, I picked up our box of ingredients today. Since I've been vegetarian forever, I saw no point in taking the included chicken home. I stopped by a friend's house and we had a lovely socially distant visit in her front yard. She's one of the kindest people I know, and I need to make an effort to see her more often.
She laughed at me when I told her that I don't enjoy dinners with people I don't know. She doesn't quite believe me that I don't enjoy making small talk with strangers. Somehow she doesn't see how awkward I feel in situations like that. She asked how we became friends if I don't like talking to people.
Realization: The people I love most are all open about their passions. You don't have to spend much time with them before they tell you about the things they love - their pets, their partners, their hobbies, their studies - whatever it is they enjoy most. I've known for a long time that I don't like people who can't say anything nice about their family, chosen or otherwise, but hadn't made the connection that I love those who are loving. (And I should have - the other day I watched LeVar Burton tell Jacqueline Woodson that he loved her at the start of an interview, and then I told my husband that I love LeVar Burton. But who doesn't love LeVar Burton?) Duh.
She LOVES her cats (and books, and her family), and we met when she was looking for a home for a cat that I ended up fostering for a few days before taking him to his new people. He was a loving little boy, but feline ladies did NOT love him. Her girlcats hated him, and Zoey hissed at me after I snuggled with him when he was staying with us. He's happy and loved where he is, but I kinda wish I had forced Zoey to accept him. He's a lumpa lump of purring love, with the softest paws ever, and I miss him.
Life here is mostly the same, current events are stressful because we should know better than to elect toddlers and far too many people don't, but today I picked up books and last night's Quarantine Book Club started with the author saying, "Penises all the way down." Oh! I learned that CCPL will now be using Zoom rather than facebook for their author events. Which makes me VERY happy, because I have Feelings about facebook and avoid it as much as possible. Zoom has its own set of problems, but I'm not forced to witness my father's kool-aid consumption there.
This morning I left the house (!) to pick up the food at the library, drop off the unwanted chicken, and stop by a bookstore to collect the books I'd ordered. Since recent news has been making me cry, I listened to music that makes me cry instead. Hence the random nostalgia shit part of the title.
My new car (did I tell everyone that I bought a new car last October? Trevor needed a new clutch, and after being held hostage at a local dealership I bought a 2017 Honda Fit from a dealership in Indiana. I called them from the Ohio dealership's office because I do not reward hardball tactics and if you leave me alone me long enough for me to call another vendor I will. I am a knitter, not a doormat.) has a USB port, and I use it. Duh.
Anyway, I have a weakness for angsty late-90s dudes. (And maybe just angsty singers in general. Hmm.) I won't admit how many times I listened to this song today, but it was a lot. (Hint: I lost count.) I've gone into my personal history before (albeit not recently), so if you care to wander through my ramblings you'll find that my husband and I had a hiatus of a few years before deciding that yeah, we could possibly maybe might actually be compatible or something. This song was released when we weren't together and I was heartbroken, and it evokes all those memories.
Anyway, I guess I'd rather be sad for personal reasons that I know were resolved than sad about things that I can do very little about. I will still do what I can, but I can't de-program those who have been brainwashed. Facts and reason and logic can't overcome fear, and critical thinking and empathy have become foreign concepts.
And on that note, I should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is a brew day, and I should make sure that some of the Special Brewing Underwear has made the journey from the dryer to the underwear drawer. The things we do for the people we love!
